Overspending :(

I've been spending on average about $300 in half a month!! :O
Now I understand why whenever I draw money at the atm, the balance figure is soooo small >.<
Got my paycheck today! Yayness~~

Shall curb my spending...if possible. Heh.

Confused...

I think I was buying time.

I do not know much much longer I have left.

Maybe I do know, I just do not want that day to come.

How imprudent of me,
when I was the one dishing out advices like not falling so hard... :/

XD

Current Status

it pays to be straightforward. and i realised i like talking. :)

current status:
the feeling is there and i think it is mutual. but both of us do not know where we're heading to.

he lives in the present, with no thoughts about the future. he just want to enjoy the present. he just wants some company.
as for me, i do not see any future. and me being rational, i do not see any point of going forward if there's no possible future to look at.
but i'm being irrational because i enjoy his presence. and i do not want to do anything to break off the feeling even though i know fully well that we're heading nowhere...

Advice to myself

be level-headed, don't rush!

think through before going to the next step!

don't make the situation anymore difficult and sticky.
(so much for not wanting to care about anything and just to follow my heart)

我的愿望

2007年12月8日的雯怡在此写下她当时的愿望：

“如果以后有可能的话，我想：

1. 学服装设计

2. 学跳国标舞
3. 学跳拉丁舞
4. 学缝制衣服
5. 学企业管理
6. 学烹饪
7. 学剑道
8. 学箭术
9. 学枪法
10. 学骑马
11. 学架飞机”

哈哈，读到7开始还真觉得自己有点年少狂妄。可仔细想想，2，3，5，6都已在进行中。

或许这也是为什么我会参加SNB吧。瞑瞑之中我在完成我的愿望。:)

Changes

re-reading all my blog posts since the inception of this blog. and i realised that i have changed alot, yet maybe not alot.

in terms of the use of language, i guess i can proudly say that i have improved vastly. reading my own posts written back in those sec school days even make myself cringe. i used way too much short forms (eg 'nw' for now, 'noe' for know, 'dis' for this etc) and '...' (when a simple full stop would suffice) which i guess was the 'in' thing back then. but now, i just felt that those were just an indication of poor english and immaturity.

and there was this period when i thought i had improved in terms of time management and handling school stuff. but looking at my past posts and my current state, i can't be so sure anymore :(

but oh well, i am definitely a more sociable person now, i think. and less grumpy. or maybe i just didn't have time to post all my troubles. and i'm sensible enough to know that not everything can be shared on my blog. heh. :P

and i found a pretty interesting post:

about 4 years ago in september 2007, i did a personality disorder test. i did the test again today, and realised a few interesting changes. any here's the result:

Paranoid 2007 78% 2011 58% AVE 49% Schizoid 70% 78% 53% Schizotypal 70% 74% 53% Antisocial 58% 46% 47% Borderline 46% 22% 47% Histrionic 34% 30% 43% Narcissistic 38% 30% 41% Avoidant 54% 54% 39% Dependent 58% 38% 37% Obsessive-Compulsive 50% 38% 40% Disorder Info Eccentric Personality Disorders: Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal Individuals with these disorders often appear odd or peculiar. Paranoid Personality Disorder - individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening. Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings. Schizotypal Personality Disorder - individual is uncomfortable in close relationships, has thought or perceptual distortions, and peculiarities of behavior. Dramatic Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic Individuals with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions, distorted self-perception, and/or behavioral impulsiveness. Antisocial Personality Disorder - individual shows a pervasive disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others. Borderline Personality Disorder - individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness. Histrionic Personality Disorder - individual often displays excessive emotionality and attention seeking in various contexts. They tend to overreact to other people, and are often perceived as shallow and self-centered. Narcissistic Personality Disorder - individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are very demanding in their relationships. Anxious Personality Disorders: Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive Individuals with these disorders often appear anxious or fearful. Avoidant Personality Disorder - individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism Dependent Personality Disorder - individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior. Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - individual is preoccupied with orderliness, perfectionism, and control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.

surprisingly, i became more: paranoid, antisocial (when i thought that i had become better...), borderline, dependent and obsessive-compulsive.

and i always thought that antisocial-ness and dependent have some kind of correlation i.e. the more anti-social one is, the less dependent he/she will be. however, the new result kinda debunked this. i got more anti-social, yet i became more dependent. huh?

conclusion: i am a very insecure person. D:

to take the test:

http://similarminds.com/personality_disorder.html

后悔...了?

这是个让人很沮丧的学期，也终于尝到了什么叫做“焦头烂额”。

我知道逃避不能解决问题，但我还是选择了逃避，一切后果我不敢想像。

这是个困难的决定，现在只能抛开胡思乱想，将残余的精力集中在剩余的科目。

我告诉自己：我不能后悔，我不可以后悔，其实已经后悔了。

Das Spiel - Annett Louisan

我想，我又坠入了。

心啊，请稳住自己。

千万，别重蹈覆辙。

Found a really nice song while dancing viennese waltz. It's called Das Spiel by Annett Louisan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3gWmMJ5cO4

yes, it's not english. it's german! lol.

the song title means 'The Game' and the lyrics are... pretty interesting i would say.
http://lyricstranslate.com/en/das-spiel-game.html

(i think the eng translation is a little off ... but the meaning's there)

and i realised that i like a lot of annett's songs! =3
http://www.annettlouisan.de/cm_standard_1.3.1/site/modules/index.php?area=musik&subarea=tzh

Got stuck on the train :(

60% of my internship is cleared! :DD

and things are looking good. shall be shifting to a nicer room starting next week. :))

got stuck on the train on the way home today. :((
train had some prob just after i boarded it at raffles place stn. it started and stopped abruptly for a few times. after which the train operator announced that the train was "defect and cannot proceed."

BUT, he went on and said "we will now proceed to the next stn"

WTS?!?!

you just told everyone that the train is faulty. and you're still gonna move the train to the next stn (city hall) when it hasn't even left raffles place stn.

so the train finally got moving after a few false starts and traveled at a really slow speed towards city hall stn. and i hear the sigh of relieve from everyone on the train when it reached the stn safely.

and i took a bus home from city hall instead of waiting for the next train. heh.

Boring

i'm into week 3 of my internship and things are looking fine. work's....well, not the most interesting, but it's not so boring that it's dreadful.

met up with my group mates for consulting practicum yesterday... we talked cock more than business and made a spontaneous decision to watch x-men: first class :P

met 0.5 YT in the lift today :D
he works on lvl 15, and i'm on lvl 16 so i don't get to see him usually :(

Internship

back from hongkong and the first week of work is gone...

hongkong was great! :)

photos to be uploaded on fb soon...hehe

how's work? hmmmm...

well, the first week was supposed to be like some kind of orientation where we get to know the other interns (there're a total of about 90 interns, of which less than 10 are from nus D: ) and also our seniors...

first day was boooooooooooooooooooring... we sat through talks for 5, 6 hours listening to things we already know. and we're assigned to teams of 5-6 ppl and we have to present on the last day of the week on what are the expectations of fresh graduates and how the company can meet these expectations. how nice!

but the good thing is, my team mates are fun people, and one of them is ... erm, YT material? LOL!!

and one piece of good news, my team got 3rd for the presentation and we have a $10 coffee club voucher each... wheeee...

it's peak period for individual tax right now...so the seniors was asking us interns yesterday whether we can go back on the weekends...i told them i got cca stuff... heh :P

Lucky Day!

i went to school yesterday to mug and for grp meeting (yes i still have 1 proj due only tml) D:

what happened:

1) i woke up late...went to school 1hr later then planned :(

2) my marigold yogurt drink (the one where you open the red cap, then you still need to pull and open the white flap), the handle attached to the white flap broke off before i managed to open the flap. i then wasted 15min trying to slice open that flap. :C

3) i freaking fell on the stairs, AGAIN! and there was another person on the stairs and he saw me fell. omg. malu ttm. and now i have a small bump and blue black on the corner of my right eye. D:

BUT... ...yesterday is still a lucky day!

because...

on my way back home, i saw my 0.5YT at the central lib bus stop!!

and and he was on the way to town, so we talked from central lib all the way to city hall, that's like 1/2hr of conversation!!!

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~

:DDD

What did I get myself into?

i am not even officially in the comm and yet i've already starting to see the finger-pointing and bickering. :S

what did i get myself into... D:

pia-ing audit project at last minute in fish tank.

and my 0.5YT is sitting diagonally opposite me :DD

but his back is facing me :((

LOL!!

but i just realised that the seat that he's sitting on, i sat there before!

wahahahaha!!

ok that previous post was really a crazy post.

but seriously, i feel that i have no life with all those projects weighing me down.

having someone nice to look at in class just helps to spice things up a little.. :P

My Crazy Journey with My 0.5YT*

Jan:
New semester, and new classmates. I realised that he's in the same class as me.
Stealed glances at him occasionally during class. :P

10 Mar:
I found out that he got accepted into the same company as me for summer internship.
Wheeee~~

24 Mar:
I finally have the courage to send him a friend request via facebook. He accepted the request within half an hour at 11.53pm.

My heart skipped a beat and I know he is online at that time. :)

25 Mar:
He liked my facebook status sometime around 12.30am.
My status was "don't have to go to sch in the morn tml, which means i finally get to sleep till 10am! YAYS! sad life when waking up at 10am is the only joy. D:"

I jumped around the room... was supposed to go to sleep but i stayed up till 1 plus. :D

25 Mar:
I was pia-ing audit project with my girl friends since 4pm in the library on level 3. One of them went downstairs to get some food at about 6.30pm. She sent me a msg telling me that he is on the first level.

I told the rest the I needa go to the washroom and rushed down, in the hope that I can get to see a glimpse of him. I only saw his bag. :(
I went to the washroom (which was outside the library) and when I came back, there he was, ready to go off. I asked him about the audit project and talked to him for about half a min. :DD

I almost skipped up the stairs to the 3rd level. Heh.




*YT = yan tang = eye candy ;)

Movie Marathon

on a movie marathon yesterday..wheeeee~

watched 'tangle', 'lengend of of guardians', 'the love of siam' & 'a little thing called love aka first love' :D

and the last two are thai movies. haha why am i watching thai movies?
well the male lead is super cute and hot!! <3 br="br">
hahaha. he's called mario maurer, thai and german mix blood. just go google him...ohhhhh~~~

he'll be my new eye candy. heehee.

错觉

一切只是个错觉
于是我告诉自己
那并不是属于我的幸福
然而我很清楚
我的心动摇了
是那一瞬间的感动





再反过来往上读吧... ...

猜猜我有多爱你

《猜猜我有多爱你》Guess How Much I love You

故事发生在一个平常的夜晚。

小兔子很困了，它紧紧地抓住大兔子的耳朵，要大兔子好好听它说：“猜猜我有多爱你？”

小兔子把手臂张开，很开很开，说，“我爱你这么多。”可是大兔子的手臂更长，它说：“可是，我爱你有这么多。”

小兔子想了想，举起胳膊说：“我爱你，有我够到的这么高。”大兔子也举起胳膊说：“我爱你，也有我够到的这么高。”

小兔子又有了一个好主意，它朝下倒立，把脚往树干上伸。它说：“我爱你，一直到我的脚趾够的到的地方。”可是，这还是比不过大兔子。

小兔子手臂举起来没有大兔子高，跳起来也没有大兔子高。

不甘心，它又说：“我爱你，一直到过了小路，在远远的河那边。”可是，大兔子的爱，不仅到河那边，还要越过山。

最后，小兔子困了，它喃喃说：“我爱你，从这里一直到月亮。”

小兔子睡着了。大兔子躺在小兔子身边，小声地微笑这说：“我爱你，从这里一直到月亮，再，绕回来。”

-- Sam McBratney

Confused

he told me i'm confused.
am i?
i don't know.
i need to clear some things out.
and all along i thought i've got them cleared.
the heart, is a strange thing...

My Interview for an Internship at EY

it's a strange feeling waking up at early in the morning at 6am. the last time i woke up so early was many years ago back in the jc days. and why am i waking up so early when it is actually recess week right at the moment?

well, i just came back from internship interview at ernst & young.

and i realized the imptortance of arriving early for interview but not too early. my interview was scheduled at 9am. i reached at about 8.25am. =.=
so for the half hr so that i was waiting there, i looked up and down, left and right, stared at those ppl that walked past me...and basically freaked out. :(
but there was this nice ang moh uncle that sorta chatted with me for abt a min and told me that it is understandable that i'll be nervous for the interview and as long as my character shine out i'll be fine. :)

as for the interview process itself....well, it was ok i guess.
my interviewer was a rather young lady, 30yr old max, and she was late for 10min. =.=
she gave me the feeling that she doesn't really know how to interview people though and only asked me two qn. qn1 was "so, tell me more about yourself" and qn2 was on the issue of foreign talents. and for the half hr of interview, i think she spent most of the time doing the talking. lol.
but in the end she seemed to be sorta in a hurry to end the interview session. she didn't even ask me if i have any qn for her. is this not a good sign? :(

so now i'm at starbucks waiting for my grp meeting to start. yay! :D
group meetings are fun when people in your grp are fun!

"He makes me smile!"

was reading some past conversations with my girlfriends, and then i realised how feelings can change even in such a short time.

"he makes me smile!"
that, was in the past.

now? not anymore i guess.
at least, i don't feel any sense of excitement/anxiety/anguish/confusion that plagued me for the half of last year.

which is good! :D

Unbreakable Gadgets - Are They Really Useful?

Just read an article on xinmsn about unbreakable gadgets in the world, they are "impervious to cold, heat, water and even attack by tigers..."

One of these great gadgets is a Swiss Military watch that is a Guinness World Record holder. What's so great about this watch is that it can "survive gunshot blasts, dynamite explosions and being hurled out of an aeroplane."

Geez, why would anyone still care if your watch is still working if you had experience any of the above 3 situations. *giggles*

article:
http://technology.xin.msn.com/mobile-and-gadgets/photos.aspx?cp-documentid=4621027

A stranger made me smile :)

A stranger made me smile today.

He's just a random stranger standing by the road
while my bus passed by.
And what's so special about him,
you may ask.
Well, he's smartly dressed, cleanly shaved
with a pair of cool sunglasses.
Ah, a handsome guy that caught my eye,
you may think.
But no, what really caught my eye,
was the fact that he was leaning casually
on a pair of crutches
with a big wide smile on his face.

I like that attitude! :)

- penned on 28/01/2010 16:47pm